Why Open Communication is important?

 Even the most beautiful wave has to break, at the shore to return back to return back to itself; Unravel from the darkness to discover the real you!
                                                                                     -Shruti Bevara

What is open communication?

I once read -

"If only the people who worry about their liabilities would think about the riches they do possess, they would stop worrying"  

                                                                    - Dale Carnegie.

 Being the homo sapiens, the highest in the order of food chain, highly intellectual mammals on the freaking earth! It comes with a lot of needs and desires. We should award ourselves for wanting more of everything! Because what we have is never enough, is it? There were days when having telephone (landline) at home was "Oh! those people are rich! They have a telephone" and everyone used to come home and use our phone to communicate. Fast forward to this day, who doesn't have a smart phone!!! I mean, who doesn't? A kid studying in 10th grade has a better phone than most adults. I can bet, the teenagers carry the "iPhone" (phone for riches).

No no, the topic is not phones, but about the never ending desires of a man, and of course communication. An average man speaks up to 10000 words a day, if he is frustrated or angry, then we can keep counting! Let's not even TRY about women! the numbers will die, sure. That's communication for you, speaking, talking whatever you may wanna call it. Words coming out of your mouth, be it a conversation or expression of feelings is Communication.

Communication is usually defined as the transmission of information. To communicate means to share. Sharing of information, a message, or expressing one's feeling.

Let's go back to the most important question, What is open communication? 
Open communication is when one person (say you) opens up about their emotions, feelings to another. It is when someone is not afraid to speak their mind, to their partner, family or the third party. We tend to suppress our feelings, our .opinions and emotions to ourselves, instead of speaking it out loud. 

This suppression often leads to anxiety, depression, self doubt and lack of emotional intelligence or lack of expression which further leads to social anxiety.  
Picture a room full of people, you are in it too, in some corner, holding a glass trying to be discreet, thinking, more like pressuring to think that everyone is looking at you, judging you, for the way you look, you stand, you move, and the way you talk!! That is Social Anxiety!
Not communicating your inner feelings, be it anger, or happiness, grief or sorrow or some confusion whatever the emotion, is social anxiety in one way. We are afraid what people might think of us? What people might perceive of me? If I show my real self? What if... The series of what if's acts as a barrier between our emotions and us. 

Why is open communication important?

Let's be straight up honest relationships die because of miscommunication, misunderstanding and no communication. That's the simple truth, often people die too! because they had not been in a space where they could speak up their mind, where they were accepted open heartedly, with their flaws and past mistakes, traumas and guilt. The "space" our parents and their parents failed to create, where their child can be open about his/her thoughts, emotions. where they can be accepted and not be judged, hell, punished for speaking up. Our mind tend to create this place of torture, where it makes us overthink. overwhelm with emotions, overshare and over care only to get hurt in the end. Some of us are strong enough to get through it all, yet some of us surrender to our minds, letting it lead us to failure, eventually giving up on life.

Chain of emotional , mental trauma, physical harassment create an invisible baggage that we drag with us to our graves. carrying that "extra" unwanted burden of past, wanting to let go, to set free yet find it real hard to unlock from the experiences we once faced. When we fall on the ground, we make a choice, either we let the other person lift us up or we dust it off and rise up! the constant is, to rise up, how? that's the choice we make. when it comes to emotional or mental fall, most of us tend to seek for help, which is great and it is a must and should. But some of us tend to make it damn hard, denying the fact that we actually fell, hit the rock bottom, not once, several times and it's hard to get back up, alone.

How to communicate openly?

Communication does not have to be with other person, in fact the only way one can communicate freely with no hesitation is when one is comfortable communicating with oneself, the "Inner self". To communicate means to accept and reflect, to act and enact, to match words with actions. All of this, with yourself. One needs to accept the current status of his mind, situation and levels of stability to reflect, to change, to start acting on the desired change. 

Acceptance is the first step to discover ourselves. We create a "safe" space for our flaws, mistakes and the dark side we possess. not everyone is good, not every one is bad. there's always 2 sides of a coin, 2 sides of a person. we choose to look at one side, blindly, that's how we love and accept people around us.

Forgive. Forgive yourself for all the mistakes you ever made, you will make, for you are just a human being. Learn from it, don't harm yourself or others, deliberately. 
"For the good of everyone, and harm of none, let my deeds do the best for me and others".

 "You are what you believe in. You become of what you believe in you can become". 
                                                                                                  - BHAGVAT GITA

Believe that you have some good in yourself, believe that you are not nothing, you are meant for the purpose you haven't discovered yet.

Believe that you can still perceive your dreams, for all the older audience ( my father's friends who so graciously read my rant) If you think you are in no age of taking risks or running after your interests or your passion then you are wrong! The age is never a setback! It is the collection of wisdom and experience, you spread to the world.

I would love to see you come out of your comfort zones, and work on things you actually love! Don't be shy, no second thoughts, what the world might think! To hell with the world! To hell with anyone who doesn.t support you in everything you do, you wish to do. I have already seen some of you sing, so damn beautifully, to put yourself out there in front of the world, I applaud you! It ain't easy, it never was, but you believed in yourself! You thought you could succeed, and you did! 
I would like to thank, everyone personally for being such an inspiration, also to read and support my passion for writing. 

Courage. Have the courage to speak for things you believe in, for things that disturb you, shook you from within, that imbalances your perception. For the injustice you experienced, for the treatment you got that you never deserved. Have the courage, to speak, to show through whatever means possible, that IT IS NOT OKAY. That you are NOT FINE. Shutting up, shutting yourself out or suffering alone is not the wisest decision when it comes to mental disturbances.

These past few months, I have lost so many friends, friends of friends, people, attempting to take their own lives, especially men! Good we have this stupid social stereotype, that men "have to be strong" that they cannot, under no circumstances, show their emotions to others, be it stress, be it grief, sorrow. They have to showcase this strength of a "superman". Maybe that's why our fathers have always been our first superheroes, but this is toxic, every human being has the right to feel, to express feelings, emotions, through words or actions. Women on the other hand are dealt with, so delicately on the other hand men are told to "toughen up". Why? Why should they?

Why can't they be as expressive as women? Why are they looked down upon when they wish to share their thoughts? This question is to all those people who want equality yet they are finding it hard to seek equality when it comes to mental health.

Lastly, I would only ask all the men, to find a way, find someone you are comfortable with, to open, to share, to showcase your real self. Hiding it, pushing it into the grave is never the solution, to fight your fears, to fight your mental imbalances. Openly communicate about it, with your spouse, your children or your friends, no-one has to face everything alone. 

Change is inevitable, change is not fun! I know, but sometimes change can bring you a lot more good than you can ever imagine, it bring you Inner peace. Something we try to find all our lives. 

I am grateful for my father, for being my blog promoter, forwarding it to everyone, and to all those friends, colleagues, superiors of my father, for taking their time out, to read my work, even though it is the beginning, I am grateful for all the support I get through you all.
Thank you!


Until next time! STAY TRUE! STAY POSITIVE! STAY YOU!
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Happy weekend